Dearest Readers,

This is a story of a woman whom I have never met. She emailed me frequently as she was dying after going systemic off of a Fraxel laser.

She did 6 hard torturous years.

I am fighting for my life from an Ultherapy treatment, that I thought was a tens unit, a microcurrent, a “gentle sound wave.”

She was so proud of me for being so vocal about my situation.

(My head was being violently ripped off of my shoulders, how could I not?)

I don’t know how much longer I have to live, so I am doing everything I can to bring awareness to such senseless torturous deaths.

A facial.

It is the worst club in the world to be a part of.

A world I never knew existed, and tragically, would suffer the same fate.

The laser damaged community contacted me. They said that they could not believe this was STILL going on.

Yes. Here comes Ultherapy. The most Science Fiction, experimental technology that has NO business on the human face, that pretended it was harmless and wormed it’s way onto the market under false pretenses.

It annihilated me, burned me alive, tortured me, and trapped me inside of my own face via electrocution.

It is my goal to see these heating devices are banned, or only used in emergencies.

I also want doctors to know what to do when someone is going lethal off of a heating device/radiation/electricity.

Time is not your friend in this situation.

Running to hundreds of doctors, having to explain the situation over again is a waste of time, money and energy, leaving the victim more depressed, defeated, drained and hopeless.

It is my goal to see “Systemic Cosmetic Heating Device Reaction” in medical books.

If you have these devices, then you should have a protocol when things go awry, but alas, no one does.

They just run away and pretend that you don’t exist.

But we do. Unfortunately, we do.

Here is her story:

I thought it was time for me to share some of my nightmare after Fraxel laser. It’s been a long, hard battle to heal and get to where I am at and where I have yet to go. After being contacted in the past on some old posts I had written, I wanted to share my story in hopes that others who have had the unfortunate outcome as I, would maybe find the strength to go on. Never in my wildest nightmare could I have imagined how my life would drastically change for the worse after trying to remove brown spots from my face.

No more brown spots…it’s easy with Fraxel…or so I thought.

Shortly after having the laser, Fraxel Dual, to my face for removal of brown spots, my skin felt completely different. It felt as if it lost all its firmness. Being a nurse, I thought it felt like all my collagen and elastin was gone. My forehead fat seemed to be missing.
This couldn’t be, I said to myself. It must be how this laser works. But I am beginning to worry something isn’t right.

As my skin continued to feel “different”, I was assured by my laser doctor (Dr. _________-part of the (REDACTED) that everything was just fine and they even offered to do my entire neck and chest next time. To which I declined. Thank goodness.
As the weeks went on, my facial pores began to open all over my face. My skin started to burn, my face seemed skinnier. When I would massage my skin, and I pulled a certain direction, it felt like a million pieces of glass were stuck in my face. No one could explain this to me.
Still told to just give it time to heal and had to purchase over hundreds of dollars in creams from this doctors skin line (Skin Medica) that were suppose to help me heal…still lining his pockets even more at my expense.

Months later I awake one morning to the feeling of my face “being gone”…so thinned out that I could not go out in the wind, or the sun. I couldn’t even lay my head on my pillow because my face burned so badly and my skin was so thinned out. My face would sweat so much at night that I would sleep with a small towel to wipe the sweat. What is happening? I feel like my entire head is shrinking. Everything on my face is shrinking. I am panicked to the point that I can’t even think straight. I feel like I am in a sci-fi movie…please let it end!!!! Again, told to give it more time and the laser can’t cause fat loss.

Almost a year later after researching stem cells and how they help heal during fat grafting, I found a doctor to treat me and possibly help my burning face. The burning felt like a super deep sunburn and my face was so hot. I had tried ice to my face and many creams. I couldn’t go outside without a big hat and if the sun hit my face it hurt so much more. When it was windy out I had to wrap my face in a scarf to keep my face warm. I could feel the cold air all around my eyes as that area was affected as well.
During my first fat grafting session, we put grafting in the cheeks, lips and my earlobes because they had shrunk so much. This new doctor said I was “getting older” and that had caused my volume loss. I don’t argue because I just need to try these stem cells to help heal, but I don’t remember anyone in my lifetime saying that as we age and lose our fat, that it happens within months and your face starts burning severely.
The only difference in my routine…the Fraxel laser months earlier.

Great news, after cell-enriched fat grafting, my cheeks stop burning, the inside of my mouth that was once dark cherry red and rough (instead of smooth and pink), was healing and becoming smooth. You can actually see the difference between the gum tissues inside my mouth. Cheeks not burning anymore and lips healed about 70%…what if we do the grafting again to lip area, would it heal. The next grafting session goes well…lips stop burning and start looking like lips again…they are filling out, getting back to normal.
The fat grafting is working, but there is so much burning everywhere else, the burning is everywhere the laser went (my entire face, right up to eyes, not stopping at the orbital rim, and around about 1-11/2 inches under chin. I pray that my eyes don’t hollow out!)

So we keep fat grafting, some new areas and some old areas. It seems some areas need to be treated many times to finally heal. I am healing after each surgery. This is truly a miracle.

As the months go by, I heal from the fat grafting, but another issue arises. My eyes feel as if they have collapsed into the back of my head. I am in shock and panicked. What I thought had happened in the beginning (that my face was melted off) is starting to come true. The laser nurse at this new office says Dr. _________ used a very high setting. So I get the sense that my face is having these adverse reactions because the setting was obviously too high. This can cause severe damage. Dr. _________ even has written a paper about the dangers of using too high of setting.

Article…Skin and Allergy News New Fraxel Laser Gaining Popularity in Practices by Betsy Bates February 1, 2007.

The ease of the system does not negate the importance of being careful, however. The lasers capability of going to extreme depths with a high degree of energy can produce “an intense collimated dermal reaction,” which Dr. __________ said is unlike any he has ever seen. Choosing a coverage setting that is too high can be dangerous. You will reach a point, if you go too far, where you risk bulk heating. You will generate thermal necrosis of the area,” he said.

I am becoming what can happen when the wrong setting is used…complete loss of fat and damage to surrounding tissues.
I can barely move my eyes because of a horrendous scratching pain that happens when my eyes do move.

My plastic surgeon gives me names of eyes surgeons and we continue to heal me…grafting my eyelids (they had become so thin that I thought they would rip if I pulled them too hard), I could barely get my contact lens out of my eyes because my eyes had sunk into their orbits. Never knew we had lots orbital fat. Will I lose my vision as well?

The eye surgeon and plastic surgeon work in tandem and put fat behind the eye and around it. I can now move my eyes again without them feeling like they are in sand. The left eye is more affected with the pain, and my eyes aren’t what they use to be, but so much of the pain is gone and hopefully over time they will continue to heal.

What’s next?
That’s the fear most victims have to live with daily.
Waking up and wondering what has happened to our faces overnight. Always knowing more unbelievable damage has happened.

When will all this stop? My cellular damage keeps going and I can literally feel a “layer” of tissue contracting on my scalp and it seems as if it is actually being pulled backwards off my head. I am doomed. There seems to be no stopping this. The heat in my face moves to my throat and other adjacent tissue not even treated by the laser.
Does this article explain what is happening ?

Or can apoptosis be the reason? A different laser is doing a clinical trial to see if this gene is turned on…the cellular suicide gene.
What can stop it?
What happened?
This isn’t normal, or is this a complication the company DOES know about, but knows it can get away with it for many years by silencing victims by calling them crazy? I have heard that word a lot as I looked for doctors to help me.
What about the FDA? Have they been paid off?

There’s more…
I notice I can no longer get my usual hair color touch up to remove my gray hairs. Did they change their formulas or get a new product at hair salon? No.
We actually have subcutaneous fat all around our head. Could it be that the heat was so strong in my face that it moved to adjacent areas? Yes.
Fat grafting to scalp complete…hair color as usual without having to add a “Sweet and Low” packet to change the pH of this so it wouldn’t give me the “burning” feeling.

Not done yet…
Mouth dryness is present, ENT says salivary glands not producing much saliva. Never had this problem before. Checked for auto-immune diseases…negative. Told by these doctors that the laser heat damaged the salivary glands.
Look at anatomy of the face and you will see all the saliva glands and lacrimal (eye) glands are in the face and where this laser went. Now having to get new contacts to help with dryness. I am told these lens help people with dry eyes. I am also put on medicine that increases saliva, makes my entire body sweat a lot. Never had any of this before the laser.

You are kidding me…
More burning inside my mouth…
My mouth is really burning. I pull my bottom lip out and notice my gum tissue is completely hollowed out. This gum tissue has collagen in it…one of the things I felt had been melted from my facial skin. This gum tissue is connected to my facial skin…could it be that it was also affected? Yes.
Finally find a periodontist that will try a growth factor and graft under gum tissue since the stem cells seem to have helped, possibly these growth factors will also. Gum grafting tried around 2 teeth…no more burning. Completely regraft ALL top and bottom gum tissue.

My surgeon (Dr. ________, ) has helped me greatly, but eventually just doesn’t believe the laser can do all this damage. I am now put in the “mental health” group. As a nurse, I knew exactly what he was doing. I knew this label would make other doctors shy away once you are labeled as BDD or whatever else they choose to label us. But he did it anyways. Even though 2 other mental health doctors that I had been meeting with due to all this trauma, told him this isn’t true. They told him I had no mental disorders, that I had really been damaged by this laser.

In a way I don’t blame him, he has never grafted one person so much (5 times) and he was helping fix someone else’s disaster. But to say such hurtful things was unbelievable on top of all the pain I was trying to fight through and the complete destruction of my face as I knew it. Instead of trying to help me, it was as if he was trying to silence me.

What are these companies who are putting out these harmful laser devices doing to help damaged patients? NOTHING! I know.
More and more women are also finding out, once damaged you are told:
1. You looked like that before.
2. You are getting older
3. The laser can’t melt fat.
4. We have never heard of this before.

Give me a break! There are now 100’s of victims speaking out. This doesn’t even count the many more too afraid to speak out or those who have spoken out…only to be attacked by doctors verbally…calling them crazy and thus silencing them…like my doctor tried to do.

What is going on…
You can be the next victim! No one can predict the outcome from your laser procedure. NO ONE.
I went to Dr. ___________…laser guru…helped develop Fraxel. I had no idea he was a “mad scientist” with women’s faces.

I guess if it isn’t his face, who cares.

But it doesn’t matter because my life has been ruined. It doesn’t matter for me now, but for those of you thinking you want to try a laser…I am telling my story.

So my story goes on…
I find a new surgeon whose office won’t touch facial lasers because there are too many unknowns. It’s very important when looking for help after your damage to not go to an office with lasers…they will say they don’t believe you because they have to due to liability.

This doctor is compassionate, understanding and she continues to help me. I heal more. It has worked best for my fat grafting to have “layers” of fat put down EVERYWHERE because my entire face melted. By adding “layers” you will heal evenly…even on the chin area. I only heal where the grafts are put and it’s easy to tell if they don’t graft a certain area. It’s also best to use a copy of a picture of your face and color the areas to show where you are concerned. We have layered my entire face. The chin area and upper lip area have been the hardest to rebuild for some reason, but layer by layer (surgery by surgery) we have gotten there. It took us 5 surgeries to get rid of my scalp pain and build back up my “shrinking” head.

So it’s been many years since my Fraxel procedure and I still have to:
1. put back together my nose cartilage, it was melted and my nose shrunk and is completely different.
2. My eyes need a lot more fat put around/behind them to help support them and remove all the pain which has increased again.
3. Many teeth have been pulled and all my others continue to hurt when I bite down…now on a soft diet. One oral surgeon said it sounded like I have RADIATION DAMAGE!!!
My teeth would “crunch” when I would chew many years ago, but since my face was still on fire and my eyes were beginning to collapse, I didn’t do anything about this.
Makes sense! There is acute radiation damage and chronic.
I have BOTH.
4. My ears still hurt. The cartilage seems very different. Probably need a biopsy to see what is missing from this area, that might help figure what to do?

What’s next for me?
We have rebuilt one lower back molar area with PRP, bone grafts and other growth factors and now the pain is gone. Big question is, if we put a new implant in, will the pain still be gone? If so, then all bottom teeth will need to be pulled and implants put in.

The damage seems ENDLESS.
I am very weak and frail due the mental and physical stress put on my body. I don’t know how much longer my body can hold on to heal, or if that is even possible.

So if you are thinking about FRAXEL or any other laser, you might think again.
When things go wrong, the laser seems to change the entire “foundation” of people’s faces. The laser seems to shrink/melt possibly the layers of the skin to where the patient ends up looking completely different. It could happen quickly after the procedure, or take months before everything collapses.
The skin texture can be completely ruined with pores opening up (a derm told me my pores all opened because of the overheating), or a grid-like pattern that mimics the laser head appears and the skin can take on a “rubbery” appearance.

Take a look at the celebrities whose faces have completely changed…they shouldn’t be asking about what plastic surgery they had, they should be asking what LASER has ruined their face. (Renee Zellweger, Uma Thurman). These ladies need to realize they lost it all because of these lasers. Then they need to be speaking out!!! Right now, I believe they are being told the usual lie, that the laser can’t do this. In time this HUGE FRAUD will come out, but not before it ruins many people’s lives, including mine.

There are no scientific studies about these side affects (fat atrophy, texture changes etc) because who is going to pay for it? Not the laser companies and not any of the doctors because they are making $$$ off the laser. Many doctors I saw would try and pull up studies of the laser causing this kind of fat loss etc damage and when they couldn’t find any clinical studies, they would just write me off and say the laser can’t melt fat.
I was told this up at Jules Stein in LA when I could barely move my eyes because I had lost all my orbital fat and their diagnosis was that I was just getting older. I couldn’t MOVE my eyes because they were smashed in the back of my eye sockets because all my fat was melted off, that has nothing to do with aging.

Please look up APOPTOSIS!! Sounds like once the cellular cascade of damage starts, it can affect other tissue not even treated by the laser. Is this what is happening to me? How can I stop this? There is no reason it can’t happen to anyone.

I have been contacted by other victims who did many laser treatments and all went well only months later to have their face basically collapse. No one will take responsibly and no one will help you when this happens.

Don’t let these lasers touch your beautiful face!!!!
There is no getting back the “real you”.
I lost my face and my life because I wanted some brown spots removed.
I will never, ever be the same.
My life was ruined
My family was ruined
My kids; mother will never be the same.
Think again before the laser comes close to your face.
It could be the last time you ever see yourself.


Fraxel had melted everything on her. She could not keep up.

Her suffering is inconceivable.

Her throat was melting, as were her gums, so her teeth were now falling out.

She sought help, and once again, was denied, as no one could help her, because her case was “too difficult.”

She was bedridden for years, as the world moved past her.

Out of compassion for herself, she decided her only option was to end her suffering.

She left behind several children and a husband over 3 freckles.

Although she is gone, I still email her from time to time.

Who will I talk to about my eyelids burning off? Or being trapped and melted inside of my face? The electrical current that is coursing through my skull, or the lack of oxygen in my brain?

How the embryonic stem cells were the answer, but I waited so long that my organs were failing?

Who could understand such insanity?

It is a war that not one human being should be in under ANY circumstance.

It goes against the 8th amendment….
The forbidding of “Cruel and unusual punishment.”

I’d like to see the nurses, doctors, techs, and pharmaceutical companies doing jail time for killing someone is such an inhumane way.

There will be another woman, another me, another death.

While she was in bed dying, I was home relaxing and enjoying my life, until they got me.

As I lie here dying, there is another woman, who does not know that she too will die an excruciating death from a laser.

We are sitting ducks as more and more devices come out, promising beauty and delivering funerals.

I am trying to break the cycle and raise awareness before my time is up.

This is such a waste of a beautiful life, we will never stop asking…”How did we get here?”

Rest in Peace My Love.